Trichotillomania

For my loyal fans..

I am once again the proud owner of a full, long set of eyelashes! :D
So, so happy.

Also my scalp has grown in so much that it's difficult to notice the short bits even when I don't wear my clip-in pieces. Although I am still pulling a bit from there, it's improving all the time.

I've started seeing a psychiatrist who has increased my medication to 30mg of Lexapro. He also plans to keep increasing it if I start to plateau.. Which is totally fine by me. Apparently the 20mg I was on before (10mg is the standard dose for depression/anxiety) is not considered an adequate dose for Trich. He also said most of his patients have to stop at 25mg because they can't handle the side effects. Luckily for me I only had side effects (not even bad ones - headaches, tiredness and sweating) for about 5 days as I was going up to 30mg. Now I feel fine.

Apart from the fact that it's helping my pulling, I've also noticed improvements in my concentration, self esteem and general mood. I'm kind of like "wow, this is how happy 'normal' people feel all the time?! I've been jipped my whole life!" Something not so great that I have noticed is that I've become way more social - actually having the energy and confidence to go out. As a result I have been spending WAY too many nights partying and losing a ridiculous of sleep, so my uni work is suffering. In the past week and a half I have been out approx every second night.. Staying up till between 2 and 4am.

... Although that may be less to do with the medication and more to do with wanting to escape normal life which is pretty stressful most of the time.
I guess the hardest thing I have to do right now is knuckle down and get through the end of the semester. Then I have 4 months of summer partying to look forward to!

Life is good. :D

Things are going pretty well at the moment.

My eyelashes are quite thick and getting long. They look normal enough  that now I don't have to wear eyeliner! :D
And the way things are going I won't have to wear my clip-in hair pieces for much longer, as the regrowth on my scalp is getting long. I am still pulling a bit from there though. It's making me a bit crazy though because I have very thick, wiry hair the short hairs like to stick straight up in little tufts, through the long hairs that are combed over them. Once they are long enough to flop over I will be so happy!

I'm looking through all my past photos and it's really motivating me to keep improving.

Not much going on at the moment. Working heaps and getting ready to go on a holiday over east. Pulling is practically non-existent which is nice! But my eyelashes seem to be growing SO slowly! It always seems to be like this in the cold weather.. Weird.
Counselling is going really well. CBT is surprisingly easy and effective, as long as I actually remember to be conscious of the way I'm speaking to myself in my head. Then again it's holidays right now so there is a whole lot less stress going on. I'm going to try really hard to keep on top of things next semester. I am proud of how well I did last semester, but I still think I can improve! :)
I'm feeling pretty optimistic right now that I have found some genuine ways to control my pulling.. Like the whole 8pm curfew thing, studying in public, the hair pieces and the CBT.
Exciting.

I've decided to stop being in denial about the fact that (for now, at least) for me to stay up late and study does me more harm than good. These days the only time I pull is late at night (8.30pm onwards) studying. And when I do pull at these times I pull INTENSELY. So I have decided that from now on (until I know I can study without pulling) I will only study during the day (preferably at uni, in public). That means that "night time" is relaxing time where I am not allowed to study or sit on the computer for extended periods of time.
I think at first I set my 'curfew' for 8pm. If I find myself having bad urges before that time I will think about changing it to dinner time - so no study after dinner.
Since it is 9.51pm right now and I have an exam tomorrow I am heading to bed now :)
I already have lots of ideas for things to do at night time... housework, reading!, watching TV (god, how I miss TV!), getting my jewellery business going again (great for keeping hands busy)!
I'm pretty excited about this plan. I hope my boyfriend will approve!

I have an extremely important exam on Tuesday, but I am feeling pretty confident. Yesterday I had my first exam and I pulled out a lot of hair in the lead up (and also during!). Today I have been studying for one hour and have pulled out 0 eyelashes and 1 hair.   :) 
Edit: Well, at least the exam went really well!